A Matter of Scheduling

For anyone who's talked to me in the past few weeks, you'd probably have a hard time pinning down exactly what days off I have over the next two months. Even friends here in Korea, whom I've talked about this in great detail with, will probably have trouble being sure about what exactly is going on with my schedule between now and March. That's because I don't really know exactly what's going on, and I'm pretty sure my school doesn't either.

Here' what I do know. I have to work for 10 days in January, but I'm not 100% sure when. Probably near the end, with the last 3 or 4 days being an overnight camp on Jeju Island, 4 hours south of Mokpo. The rest of the time working is still a muddled mess, and may not be sorted out till the day before I come in, which is most likely the 14th of Janurary.

After that, I come to school for two days on Feb 4th and 5th, during which time I'm sure I will do zero work, and then I'm off on vacation until March 3rd when school starts again. It's that long February break that Shannon and I will use to do something exciting, though we havne't found anything that's got us really pumped to go do. I think we just need to find some cheap flights to a warm beach.

Christmas is over now, and the kids are bringing all their fun toys to school. So many foriegners here in Mokpo have mentioned how little it's felt like Christmas lately, and I've been trying to come up with a few reasons why. The lack of cold is one reason, as even for Korea it's been unseasonally hot. No visits with extended families are happening. There's no malls to go to, which I never realized how much a crowded mall made me think of Christmas until now. And Wham! That silly Wham! song, "Last Christmas" is the most played Christmas song by far here in Korea. The only problem is, it has so very little to do with Christmas, it doesn't bring out any holiday or festive feelings at all. But, Christmas is in the title, and people here seem to love it, so I'm sure next year it'll be the #1 Christmas song again.

Anyhoo, today is the last day of school before the holidays, so I thought I should finish off the blog before I leave. I've got 3 hours of free time now which will be sent entirely on cleaning my classroom. It's not too bad of a disaster, but it's messy enough that I'll need all 3 hours. I'm off to Seoul again for New Year's Eve. I don't expect to be blogging again until a few days after then, so I should have some more exciting tales from the big city when I return! So long, and Happy New Year!

Bright Lights, Big City

"The sounds of the city, somehow they comfort
me, on mornings when I am lonely"

A litle musical quote to start off this weeks blog seems a little fun. I'm a week behind again, and my apologies for that, but hopefully I can deliver on a modestly enjoyable blog-reading experience for you.

Last weekend was a great one, with a whole wack of teachers from Mokpo heading up to Seoul. I'm sure most everyone out there has heard of Seoul, as it's one of the largest cities in the world and has been ranked as one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in as well. 1 in 5 Koreans live in or right around Seoul, and while I've been to it a few times in the past, this was the first time I'd had a guide with local knowledge of the city.

I wasn't able to make it up until Saturday evening, as I was stuck at school working during the morning. Friday night had seen a major flurry of snow roll through Seoul, and I was sad at having missed out on the very Western wintery feeling everyone had had. Still, it was good just being able to get out of town for a while, whether it's for a few days or just a few hours.

We had a reservation for 20 at a Indian restaurant that night, and geez-oh-my was it amazing! I've never really had Indian food very often until this past year, and this was by far the best I've tried. I managed to make a complete wiener of myself trying to speak Korean to the Indian staff working there too, but that didn't seem to bother anyone and made for a good giggling at me with everyone. I guess the idea of traveling to Korea to try Indian food and using English as the means to communicate just seemed a little odd to me at the moment.

After dinner we got a good sampling of the night life away from Itaewon, the infamous tourist/foriegner district of Seoul. Itaweon is not really a bad place to go to, but it really loses any feeling of being in a foreign country, and quickly feels more like a backpacker hostel mixed in with a US military base. Speaking of US military, I learned that there are some 30,000 of them living in Seoul, and that they have a midnight (or maybe 1am) curfew every night. It seems excessive alcohol, late nights, and foreign militiary boys from the US don't go over so well in Seoul.

Anyway, we staying in the Hondae district, which is where (one of?) Seoul's major university is. I'm not sure if all night-time venues are overflowing with foreigners, but wherever we went there was an excess of Western faces sights and sounds. I don't think I needed to speak Korean to get a drink all night. Though speaking it better than I do would have come in handy at around 5 that morning when we went looking for somewhere that would serve us some food.

The next day had a moderately slow start to it. Two of our friends are moving to Seoul, so we helped move some things to where they could be stored till March, and grabbed some breakfast as well. We hit up a small diner, a "greasy spoon" I'm told is a good word for places like this. I hadn't had a big meal of eggs and hashbrowns in ages, and i made a moderate pig of myself scarfing down all the exciting morning goodies I hadn't had in so long.

The rest of the day was spent shopping, which was relatively unintersting. Everyone had hit all the neat touristy artsy spots the day before, so on Sunday we stuck to foreign (Western) food markets and cheap electronics shops. By the time we got home, I was deathly exhausted.

It's almost Christmas now, and while Canada is pumping itself full of Christmas music and commercial marketing schemes, it's pretty quiet here. There's been a few times out for dinner that I've heard some Christmas jingles, and every church has christmas lights strung around them. Still, it's not the same overwhelming cram-it-down-your-Celine-Dion-Jingle-Cats-what-would-Jesus-do-throat kind of experience. There has however been a different Christmas party every few days around town, with lots of singing and various forms of merry making. So even all this distance away, it's still very holiday-ish here too.

Well, I'll let everyone know how the actual Christmas day went down later. Till then, have a fun holiday!

A Busy Week of Nothing Much

It's been a slow week here in Korea, and it's nice to finally have Friday come around. I hinted at having a pretty big week coming up this week, and in some senses it was, but in others, well, I've basically spent half of it or more just sitting at my desk again. Allow me to explain.

I'm going to be working during my vacation in January. How much I'll be working isn't enirely determined yet, but it will probably be at least 2 1/2 weeks. So, to make up for that, Shannon and I have requested an extra week off in February, which means we'll be traveling from Feb 6th-Mar 1st (not sure where quite yet). To make up for the lost week (during which I'll probably only teach 10 hours out of 40) I've been scheduled to have an extra 10 classes per week for three weeks, plus a Saturday of work. Basically my workload has nearly doubled from now until Dec. 27.

So, why have I been just sitting at my desk? Because no one is coming to class anyway. I've actually taught less during this week of "hell" than I did the week prior when I had only a regular workload. Most of this has to do with my grade 4's off at the English Village all week, but even then other classes haven't been coming. So I've spent X hours preparing for 30 classes and only 15 have actually happened. It's a lot of busy work with very little reward.

My computer also crashed this week, which made for some interesting scrambles to get teaching done. The curriculum is based around textbooks and CD-ROM's, and in each class I'll use it for 60% of the time, so I had some mad dashes making up new materials as well as some long boring waits when classes didn't come and I had nothing to work with. Anyway, I'm whining, let's chat about something more interesting.

I've been learning a little more about driving and liability issues on the road in Korea. Not that I'm planning on getting a car or scooter anymore, but it's pretty interesting and bizarre stuff. For example, liability is always split when it comes to an accident in Korea, usually 60-40, and rarely more than 80-20. You could be in a parked car, engine off, having a snooze, and if someone hits you, you'll have to pay for some of the damages. In fact, if you don't have enough insurance to cover it, you have to pay out of your own pocket to cover it. My one friend who was in a car accident (a very bad one where someone ran a red light and creamed him off of his scooter. His superman-esque tumble was eventually stopped by a refrigerator) found that he was still liable for 20% though he did nothing wrong, and he had to fight very hard even to get that amount. His description of the law was that:

"Say you're sitting in your living room, watching TV and a car comes crashing through your wall and pins you underneath it. By the law's rationale here, you're partially at fault, since maybe you shouldn't have been sitting watching TV at that time or maybe you should have had a fence up around your house."

Here's a couple of links if you're interested in reading more about this,


Anyway, it's Friday afternoon, I may or may not have one more class to go today. I work tomorrow then I'm off to Seoul! Should be some good times. See you next week.

Rather Proud

So I'm a week late here on the blog, my apologies to any regular readers out there who find it's the only way to be sure I'm still alive here in Korea. Last week was the first time it got and stayed cold all week long, and I've been freezing in my classroom with no motivation to do anything but sit near the heater. I also was a little short on sleep last week too, which made it less enjoyable to get motivated and write on the blog. And why was I lacking sleep? Well, that's what this blog is all about today.

As you may already know, I work on my own without the aid of a co-teacher. It's not a very desirable way to teach from a Korean standpoint, but it gets the job done and saves money for the school. Shannon works with one of the best co-teachers around. Her co-teacher is an amazing teacher, highly motivated, and will most likely be principal of a school one day (still a very impressive and unlikely achievement for a woman in Korea). The two of them have been doing such a good job lately, that their open classes (classes put on so that other teachers can come and learn from them, something many schools will do) have been noticed by the provincial education board and are being done more and more often. Most teachers in a year will do one or fewer open classes - Shannon has now down maybe a dozen.

Anyway, things were going really well with their classes, and they were asked to start traveling to other cities outside of Mokpo to do these classes. In fact, Shannon and her co-teacher (Chu Su Yeong) are now the example for the entire area on how team-teaching should be done, and will travel to schools hours out of town to help them instruct. They were also the ones chosen to put on a demonstration for all the elementary teachers in the city, which, after watching 5 or 6 other open classes, was by far the best teaching example I've been shown. Someone also video taped this class, and sent it off to Seoul to the National Board of Education. And so, from a selection of 40 entries from around the country, Shannon and Chu Su Yeong were chosen as one of the 4 finalists.

Last week, everything seemed to come together all at once. The final travel day for teaching around the province was on Saturday, and the Education Board was coming on Friday. So, everyday for the entire week, Shannon was at school, sometimes till after midnight, preparing with Chu Su Yeong for the big day on Friday. Once that was finished, they spent all night Friday preparing for Saturday. When it was finally all wrapped up Shannon slept for over four hours Saturday evening just to try and feel back to normal again.

So that's pretty much all wrapped up now. The semester is almost finished, Chu Su Yeong is moving to another school in March, and life will be back to normal - except that there really hasn't been a "normal" in life since coming to Korea, which I absolutely love. It's funny though, since Chu Su Yeong is now that much better off when it comes to her career, and will probably be a principal even sooner now. Shannon on the other hand hasn't really gained much other than a new and interesting experience from it all. We talked about how she could probably get her pick of jobs next year with this on her resume. I would bet she could make as much as $60,000 or more next year (legally too) if she played it right and ended up with a job that had her working most of the time. But, she's pretty much done with teaching, so she'll have to be happy with the experience.

Oh, I almost forgot - they gave out awards to everyone involved in this, some nice glass plaques to put on the mantle at home for the hard work the teachers put into everything. Except they never gave one to Shannon. Ooooh, I was (and still am) so mad about that! She was right there in front of them, and they gave these nice plaques to every local teacher as a thank you and not to her!

Anyway, this blog is dragging on here, and I'll end it quickly. Before I go though, the one big bonus that did come from all her hard work is, she's going to get an extra week off in February, which means from Dec. 28th to March 3rd, she only works for two days. I'm in a little bit of a different pickle, which I'll talk about in the blog later this week. Till then, it's back to work for me - the heater's running, I've got a thermos full of hot chocolate, and I've got double the classes to go through till from now till January. So long!

Vengence!

There are times in Korea where I'm afraid I've turned into that preconceived notion people often hold of what a foreigner is often like -that old, bitter person who can no longer be bothered to learn the local language or deal with local customs, and is more likely to grunt at you than take the time and effort to form any dignified response to questions. Now, I can assure you I'm very much not becoming that kind of person, but there are moments where, when confronted with something about Korea I don't understand or that I've gotten fed up with, I get a little aggressive (though always in good humour, and never in a way that will upset anyone).

Dealing with strangers, for example. Generally people on the street are nice, friendly people; but on a Saturday night when they've had a little soju, I feel I've instantly become a tool for amusement, like an animal in the zoo. Groups of people will shout "Oh look, a foreigner!" then point, and say "Hello! Nice to meet you!" not in an attempt to meet me, but just because it's fun to shout. Before I would laugh, maybe wave and say "hello" back, but now I've come to saying "anyong" back, which is the way you're supposed to greet children in Korea, and not adults. Of course the only real effect this has is that they think I can't speak Korean well, though sometimes people are amazed I can speak any Korean at all.

My kids at school have also been turning me into "that guy", where I'm the teacher who is always going crazy. Now, to be fair I am doing my best to discipline the students properly, but when you can't explain to them the reason they're being kept after class, or why you're disciplining student A instead of student B when both were talking, it makes it tough on everyone. In the end, I'm finding that making students clean the room, write lines, or sit quietly after school does little to keep them well behaved, but it makes me feel a great deal better. So here I am, sitting in a room full of 12 year olds, taking satisfaction in that while I may not be able to get them to study English, it sure feels good to make them miss lunch.

Even the elevator in my building hasn't been able to avoid my wrath of silly behaviour. Our 15-story building has two elevators, which is nice, but they're at opposite ends of the building. Waiting for the elevator sometimes can take forever, and I continually am getting angry with the poor design choices and logistical flaws I see in our apartment building. So of course, I have to teach someone a lesson, so I find myself pushing the elevator button on my floor (the 6th) every time I go by it, regardless of whether I'm taking the stairs. Am I hoping for a complete renovation of the building so that I can have things put just the way I want them? want them? Of course not, but yet there I am, hitting elevator buttons thinking about how much wiser I am and how much better my countries architectural designs are, and if I just keep hitting floor number 6, maybe the whole world will figure that out.

And even as I realize how ridiculous and inane it is to feel this way, I hit the button, and then walk down the stairs, slowing down another persons day just enough for them to think "What is wrong with that foreigner? Doesn't he know that in Korea..."

Ski School

Winter is creeping up on us here in Korea, and while it's far from the bitter cold and nastiness of the Canadian winter, it isn't without it's hardships. Lack of central heating, or any heating really, makes being at school a challenge every day now. My space heaters have just been set up, so that helps things warm up nicely, but it takes a good hour to get my classroom close to comfortable. Even when I do, the kids come in without closing the door, then open up every window in the room. I still haven't figured out exactly why - sometimes they're calling to their friends, but really I think they just like to complain about being cold.

And cold they are! On the last few days of the mild season, where I'm still in a tee-shirt but thinking about keeping my coat on during school, the kids (and sometimes the teachers) are bundled up like there's a blizzard outside. Gloves, ski jackets, toques, and even snowpants, are all showing up in my classroom, turning my students into a small army of abominable snow-men ready to hit the slopes. The older students usually aren't quite so dressed up, but instead they bring giant bunny slippers and blankets to class, and I'm not sure if they look like they're about to take an afternoon nap.

Just Another Day at the (Doctor's) Office

I came down with a horrible cold the other day, one of those ones that puts you out of commission for three or four days and makes you wish you'd never been born. I suppose it actually wasn't too bad, laying on the coach and reading or playing games all day, but I would've been much happier without it. Anyway, the point here is that it brought me back tot he doctor again. I also managed to get a case of tonsilitis this time, which wasn't in any rush to go away. The doctor I went to, a ears-nose-throat specialist, was another amazing adventure in Korean medical practicality and efficiency. The waiting room was packed when I got there, people were standing it was so full. The wait time? About 5-10 minutes. Each doctor had 1-2 nurses who rotated through the room, meaning there was always a nurse typing up reports and always one on hand to take down information as the doctor dictated it. I was called into the doctor's room while the other patient was just standing up to leave. He didn't speak much English, so we communicated mostly in Korean, but even then, there wasn't much to be said.

Open your mouth.

Tonsilitis. (He points to a diagram to help explain things)

Bam! In with the first spraying tube. Whap! In with the second.

Any muscle pain? Any back ache?

Zap! Another spray in my throat. Blammo! Something gets squirted up my nose.

Take lots of rest, take this medication, come back again if things don't seem right.

Before I'm out the door the next patient is sitting down to be examined.

Of course, with Korean medicine, a problem with anything from tonsils to toe-jam requires a shot in the bum, so I got my injection, was given a antibiotic prescription and sent on my way. The pills are kicking my ass now in a few interesting ways (nothing too serious), but my throat is a hundred times better now. There's something to be said as well for a medical system that can serve you so fast, costs $2-$3 a visit and doesn't rely on indecipherable scribblings from a doctor to determine what kind of possible life-saving medication you might need.

Well, that's all for this week. I'm off to a big elementary school teacher's meeting. Unlike most of the meetings we have, this one could actually give some benefit to me and my teaching skills. No one here ever seems to worry about my teaching skills. I hope at least the doctors in Korea get a little more guidance and review when it comes to doing their job.

You Know You're Korean When:

This is a list of things that identify you as being Korean. I'm not sure who put it all together, but I trimmed it down and changed a bit to make it more resemble the experience I've had in the past 14 months here.


You know you're Korean When:

You're 12-years old and you don't go home until 10 pm.

You're unmarried at 25 so you have to be home by ten.

You stare like a deer blinded in headlights at anyone different than you.

You attempt to go into the subway or elevator before the people get
out.

If you aren't chewing and slurping your food at a loud volume then
you obviously aren't enjoying it.

You "slightly disregard" traffic rules. Like stopping at crosswalks
or red lights.

You go home and everything smells bad (but not to you).

You think having 4 seasons is really special.

You describe any girl over 110 pounds as "fat."

You drive out of blind alleys at 60 km/h.

You're an "expert" at making ramyen (instant) noodles.

You try the doorknob instead of ringing the doorbell or knocking
first.

You eat more off your friend's plate than your own.

You answer the phone with a loud warbling
Wieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee????????

Your favorite teacher is the one that beats you the hardest.

You think you look quite dignified while drinking
your shooter of 2 cent booze after noisily slurping octopus.

You're comfortable using a small hole in the ground for a toilet, and think hocking a loogie at the same time is a good way to multi-task.

You jump out of the shower at the local gym and stand naked in front
of the mirror blow drying your family jewels.

You grab the communal toothbrush at the gym and take it into the
shower with you.

Even though you weigh 120 you have to try and out bench the 190
pound guy, because he's a foreigner.

You think that your mom's kimchi can cure your grandma's halitosis
and your grandpa's cancer.

Your cell phone has more than 20 pictures stored on it... of
yourself.

There's more toilet paper in your dining room than your bathroom.

You believe that flushing toilet paper down the toilet will clog up
the plumbing, so instead you throw all your used paper in a bin next to the
toilet.

You are no longer bothered by the old Korean lady shoving a
mop between your legs as you stand at the urinal.

You view the handicapped-ramped crosswalks as a perfect place to
park your car into at an angle. Pedestrians and handicapped people be
damned - you need to park.

You hang a plastic glove filled with water in the window because you
believe mosquitoes and flies are scared of their reflection.

You assume all thin blonde women are Russian prostitutes.

You open all of your windows in the middle of winter and crank up
the heat.

You're standing in the shower at the Sauna and offer to scrub a
total stranger's back.

You don't think it's at all weird to share a hot tub butt naked with
a grandfather and his two grandsons.

You open the window a crack when your fan is running, still afraid you might somehow be killed by the fan while you sleep.

You dial a wrong number, and then yell at the person on the other
end of the line for not being the person you were trying to call. You hang up
on them in a huff... and then hit redial.

You do exactly what your boss tells you to do, no matter how stupid
and idiotic.

You would never dream of asking to get paid extra for the overtime you
work.

You feel well rewarded for all your long hours and sacrifice if you get
taken out for BBQ and some Noraebong (karaoke) twice a year.

You sleep under a piece of oversized gauze and call it a sheet.

You put sweet potato on pizza.

You think picking your teeth or nose in public isn't polite... unless
you oh-so discreetly do it with one hand covering up the activity.

You push, claw, and elbow your way to position yourself to be the
first to exit the subway car, and then right after you exit, you walk at a
snail's pace.

You go on a nice beach vacation, where you sit under the beautiful
shade of your huge umbrella fully clothed, wearing a Darth Vader visor,
covered in sun tan lotion, refusing to go near the water.

You eat dog because it supposedly gives your four thrusts instead of
three.

After going to the washroom, you wash your hands for 1 second under
ice cold water and dry them in your hair.

You open up a new business with an arch of balloons and two dancing
girls.

You proudly adorn your new business with a sign that reads:
"SINCE 2005"

You close the business two years later after realizing there were
already ten identical businesses on the same block.

You would rather park on the sidewalk than the huge parking lot a few feet away.

You drive for 5 hours to spend 30 minutes at some over crowded
tourist trap.

You ask the foreigner next to you if he can use chopsticks while he
is comfortably eating with chopsticks.

You deny that Koreans still eat dog, after the foreigner next to you
has just said, "Last night I went out for dog with some Korean friends, it
was better than I thought it would be!"

You think eating eel will give you a hard-on, but eating bean
sprouts will make you lose it. The reasoning behind both is: "the
shape".

You correct the pronunciation of the American you meet by saying: "Ahh... you mean-euh Joji Bushi..."

You think the messages of the Buddha and Jesus are perfectly
compatible with the statement: "Koreans are a superior race."

No one in your country has AIDS, but "kimchi" (cold cabbage with hot sauce) can cure it.

You laugh at your foreign co-worker's "Broos-euh Willis-euh" shaved
head, while pressing down your comb-over with a hand covered in your own
saliva.

You order pizza and it comes with corn and mayonnaise as well as a
side serve of pickles to put on top.

You think that smoking in a crowded restaurant (with a no smoking
sign) or any other place is perfectly acceptable behavior for men but
woman who smoke in public are clearly prostitutes.

Your students are convinced that music by The Beatles is hard core
rock'n'roll.

You think that the sink in the bathroom/public toilet is for fixing
your hair and appearance and NOT for washing your hands after going to the
toilet.

You have a terrible cold and it doesn't occur to you that coughing
in other people's faces and food will make them sick too.

You honestly believe foreigners care about whose island
takashimi/dokdo is.

You think an ambulance with a siren blazing is just another car.
Therefore, you need not make way. Tow-trucks on the other hand, should be always be given the right-of-way.

You hear the monthly air-raid sirens you are totally unfazed and go
about your business.

You stick a needle in your thumb to relieve indigestion.

You wear an undershirt with a t-shirt.

You own a cell phone with a built-in breathalyzer.

Your main purpose of going to the office everyday is to persuade
your colleague(s) into a night of drinking.

Low cut, v-neck, floral print, pink t-shirt, shiny jeans, and Paris
Hilton-esque sunglasses are perfectly acceptable items for a heterosexual
man to wear for a night on the prowl.

You understand why prior to a given date your building will have heat, and
after a given date there will no longer be heat, regardless of the outside temperature.

You cover your mouth when you laugh or smile but not when you cough
or sneeze.

In the winter (-10 degree weather), you wear short skirts, but in
the summer(+40 weather) you cover all skin with jeans and a sweater
because that's the fashion.

You don't wear deodorant because Koreans don't sweat.

Wedding Bells and Flesh Wounds

A friend here in Korea, an English teacher named Emmanuel who has been in Korea for a number of years now, recently got married to a Korean woman. The two met through either a church or a choir group they were part of (or maybe it was a church choir), and in September they had their official ceremony in Canada. The Korean ceremony was held just last weekend, and Shannon and I along with a few other friends from town were able to attend.

It was quite a nice event, and I was surprised at how similar it felt to a western ceremony. This might just be me getting used to Korean events though, so maybe you shouldn't trust me too much in that assessment. What I did notice that made it unique and entertaining was the traditional Korean dancers/musicians who performed at it, as well as the bizarre initiation they made Emmanuel and his new wife go through. The dancers were really spectacular, with lots of drumming and symbol banging. They each had ribbons attached to their hats as well, and they could whip them around in all kinds of neat, hypnotic ways. As for the initiation thing, Emmanuel explained to us that it was designed to deter a man from getting married more than once - taking away a single woman is something Koreans see as a sad thing, so it involved lots of beating of his feet. Maria, his new wife, had to caress or kiss Emmanuel according to where the MC told her to. Being a former nun, things got a little tricky for her once she had to start poking him below the belt, and Emmanuel took a slap on his feet every time she messed up or refused to poke/kiss wherever the MC told her to. It was all in good fun, but I think the guy with the stick took his job more seriously than Emmanuel would have liked.

In other news, Shannon's had an unfortunate ordeal with her dermatologist lately. Cosmetic surgery is quite cheap here in Korea, and the technology is extremely advanced - already Shannon's had an old scar removed for $10, and we've met others who get heaps of work done for things like acne, unwanted tattoos and scarring. Well, Shannon decided to get an old tattoo removed, a small maple leaf on her ankle that never turned our right when she had it done. The doctor she went to is quite reputable, and we assumed it would all go fine. Now, she's got what we believe to be 3rd degree burns on her ankle. We don't know what exactly went wrong, probably the laser was set to high for the procedure, but she's had to go to the doctor every other day to get re-bandaged, have creams put on her ankle, and just to check it to make sure it's okay. It's getting better now, but she's still in quite a lot of pain and it's been more than a month since it went wrong. I'll put some pictures of it up sometime soon, though if you're not big into seeing injuries, you may want to avoid checking this out.

School has been busy this week, as some of the classes that were canceled were now rescheduled. It didn't quite make up for everything I missed, but I've had a few days of working straight through the day with few breaks in between. It's never that bad, working some long days now and then, and really, it's nice to know I haven't been completely forgotten.

My Sheltered Existence

By living in a small city removed from all the big-city life in Korea, I've limited my exposure to much of what Korea is actually like. Visits to Seoul and Busan have given me a taste of what things are like, but to actually work and live in a big city is a whole different experience. Plenty of friends though have spent time (often years) in the bigger cities, and sometimes what they tell me makes me pretty happy I'm living here in Mokpo and not anywhere else.

Most jobs outside of my province are at private schools, called Hagwons. These hagwon jobs are privately run institutions, with anywhere from several hundred students to less than ten. Owning your own business in Korea is something the people here take huge pride in, and the owners of these hagwons often take extreme measures to make sure things are running the way they want them to run. Take sick days, for example.

For me, when I take a sick day, it's a pretty big deal. I phone my school, they get all worried, want to take me to the doctor, and fret over me the whole day I return to school. This is relatively little stress compared to some people. One coworker here had a fairly serious medical issue that needed attending to, and had a trip to the hospital planned for testing. After explaining this to his teachers, they thought about it and said - "Okay, you should be in for 10:00 then." "No," my friend said, "I'm going to be in the hospital all day today." The teacher thought about it for a while, then said "I will find out if that's OK first."

Another teacher managed to injure herself pretty good, and following her school's orders, got a doctors note to excuse herself from class. After giving it to her school, she said she would be back in a few days, however her school didn't agree - "This note is from today. You will need another note for tomorrow." And so, every day she planned to miss class, she had to get up at 6am, hobble to the doctors (a subway ride away), get a note, give it to school, and make her way home again.

Some schools won't even let you take sick days, despite their inclusion in your contract. I've heard stories of schools phoning doctors offices to make sure the teacher really was sick, threats to punish other teachers at the school if sick days are taken, and one English teacher even had two people from his hagwon come over to his house and walk into his bedroom to get him to come to work.

There are other painful methods of control these private schools may try to use on the English teachers here. Two friends of ours, a couple from Canada, were told they should stop hanging out with their friends around town, as it was a distraction from their work (or they might hear other schools that weren't so bad). Eventually, the English teachers threatened to quit, and so the school said fine, we'll fire all your coworkers as well and hire new staff.

Yep, things here at my small town public school are pretty good compared to other places in Korea. I get paid on time, I haven't been shafted out of any money, and the only real demand they have from me is to play volleyball once a week.

75% of my classes are canceled today and yesterday, so it's another few days of blogging, studying Korean and watching movies. On a complete aside, if you're looking for a good (though 90% depressing) movie, I just finished Children of Men in my spare time here. It's a gloomy, dystopian film, but it's wonderfully made and holds a glimmer of hope throughout it that doesn't make you feel entirely sad. Anyway, it's time to "hangug mal kongbu hae" (study Korea). Till the next blog, take care! Oh, and here's some photos from Halloween too, where plenty of hours building my costume ended with great results.

Lost In Translations

Direct translations of languages never really works, does it? Translating Korean directly into English will often give you linguistical gems such as "I went to your house, but you did not exist" or "My thought is go is needed." Of course, there's always some bias on the part of the translator, but here's one I didn't come up with: the following is a Google-supplied translation of my last weeks Korean blog entry. Enjoy!


"Last week's good for me. But the more I try to study a lot of time during the American Philosophy. Amazing, thought ¼ Korea now know enough, you can write a diary?

These days, students are really good for me. These days, fewer classes. Classes usually thought ¼ ¼ 10:08 feel good. Students who do not have English books and magazines read to the Korean people. The Korean practice, but also very hard on me.

Next weekend, "Hallowe'en"? Our party, "P-Club" to be going. Jeollanam province so many people all impressed me. Going to be.

Because today's students for the exam again, not lessons. I think, "Hockey" to go? Goodbye to you."


If that wasn't enough for you, here's what Babel Fish's online translator had to say:


"It was good at the last week. During hour Korean end it studied plentifully, compared to it does. Like that unit, now a possibility of writing Korea which is sufficient it knows in body thought and lost chance there is.

The recent students truth were good. Also the recent study writes. When being study to body thought, the usual body feeling is good. When being the students, there is a Korean book or an English magazine Ilg possibility. Also Korea does practice but quite eagerly.

"Percentage le above nu" it is to the next weekend. Our green onion mote the "P-Club" it will be, well! the example bedspread. From the person all total nudity south door it comes plentifully. There will be a fun, well! the example bedspread.

Student wild examination today again there is not study because of description below. "It sees an empty height" in my thought the song. Goodbye."


Somehow my phonetic spelling of the word "hockey" translates into "It sees an empty height" while "Hallowe'en" becomes "Percentage le above nu." Too funny.

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

I don't think I've ever been directly affected by the strength of the Canadian currency, but right now the high dollar is killing me. Back in January, every 1000 won I made translated into $1.25 Canadian, which translated into a pretty decent paycheque every month. Now, it's down to $1.05 Canadian, and I've been missing out on several hundred dollars over the last while. I could look at things differently and note that perhaps I should be thankful to have gotten such a good rate back in January and think of that as extra money earned, but with the Korean dollar sitting at more than a 5 year low to the Canadian, I've been thinking of ways to start new rumours of Quebec once again looking to secede from Canada. If only I had that kind of international influence.

I don't know what's been up with my school this past month, but I think I've taught less than half of my scheduled classes. Yesterday I taught for only 2 1/2 of my 8 hours at school. I actually snuck out early, only a little after 4, since it's getting to be quite a bore sitting at the computer all day with nothing to do. So far today,3 o my 4 classes have not shown up, and I'm thinking that I should again slip out early. It's tough to do though, sine every student in the school is an inadvertent watch-dog, alerting people to your presence. The moment they see me, they blurt out a barrage of "hello" "hi" "how are you" and other English phrases so that everyone within ear shot knows I must be walking down the hall.

When it comes to days like this, where I've got nothing to do and I'm ready to go home, I end up moving out of the school in the most ridiculous of stealthy fashions. Sometimes I'll go out of my way to use the far washroom, then grab my shoes on the way back to my classroom so I can slip out the door. On days when the teachers are playing volleyball and I don't want to be "asked" to join, I'll try and make sure no one is near the front office before I dart across the hallway to the shoe closet, hoping no one saw me and won't come running down the hallway calling "Ree-cha-duh! Ree-cha-duh!"

The school year though has been going really well. I know the materials I'm teaching much better now, I'm able to better cope with wild students and classrooms, and I feel more in control of things. My big problem now is one of personal motivation. Now that I've crossed the hump from being a "really bad" teacher into the position of "OK" to "pretty good" teacher, there's been no motivation to improve more. There is no grading or review process set up for me, no one notices the difference when I spend 2 minutes or 2 hours preparing for a lesson, and and with nearly half my classes not happening lately, sometimes I find myself not even knowing who I'm supposed to be teaching. My two best classes, the ones that come on time and whose teachers help things run smoothly, I'm usually good at putting together something stimulating for them. Otherwise, I'm inching closer and closer towards the bare minimum.

It's 12:35 now, and I don't teach again until 3:30. Since it looks like there's some kind of school-wide activity happening today, and since it's Friday, I imagine 75% of my 3:30 class won't arrive until nearly 4:00.

Yep, I'm definitely earning all of my pay today.

My Slow Crawl Towards Bilingualism

Here's my attempt at a Koran blog entry. The translation is down below, so you can see how well I'm doing. For any Korean readers (do I have any out there?) I apologize for my many likely mistakes and spelling errors.


지난 주에 좋았어요. 많이 시간 동안 한국말 공부했지만 더 하려고 했어요. 그런대, 체 생각에 지금 충분한 한국 알고 일기 쓸 수 있어요.

요즘 학생들이 정말 좋았어요. 요즘 수업도 적어요. 체 생각에 수업 없을때 보통 체 기분이 좋아요. 학생들이 없을 때 한국 책이나 영어 잡지 읽 수 있어요. 한국도 연습하지만 아주 열심히 해요.

다음 주말에 "할러위느" 있어요. 우리 파티를 “P-크럽"에 있을 거예요. 많이 사람 모두 전라남도어서 오려고 해요. 재미있을 거예요.

학생들 시험를 하기때문에 오늘 다시 수업 없어요. 제 생각에 "허키"를 보러 가요. 안녕히 가세요.


Last week was good. I studied Korea for lots of time, but I had hoped to study even more. However, I think I’ve studied enough that now I can write my journal in Korean.

The students have been very good these days. I’ve also had few classes these days. I think when I don’t have class, I usually feel good. When the students don’t come, I can read my Korean books or English magazines. I also study Korea, but it’s quite hard.

Next weekend is Hallowe’en. We’re going to have a party at P-Club. People are going to come from all Jeollanamdo province are going to come. It’s going to be fun.

I don’t have class again today because the students have tests. I think I’m going to go watch hockey. Goodbye!

With Game in Hand and Towel on Face

There's a stigma that goes with being Asian, that Asians must be more inclined to use computers, be technically adept and play video games with a fervor not found in most other countries. Well, I'm not entirely sure about the computer knowledge or technical skills, but I can confidently say Koreans love love love their computer games. Video game systems like Xbox and Nintendo haven't caught on quite as strongly, but computer games have the people here wound up like a heroin epidemic could. The country is covered with PC rooms, shops that for a dollar an hour will let you play games online against the world. People spend hours doing this, the kids are obsessed, and CNN even did a brief special on it last week looking at how people get so addicted.

Being a pro-gamer in Korea is even a viable option for some of these guys, though it seems about as likely as young Canadian boys making a living playing major league baseball. Still, they're out there, Koreans who, for a living, play video games. And how the heck do people make money doing that? Well, besides tournaments, which there are plenty of it seems, there are two dedicated channels showing nothing but pro-gamers play against each other. For those with a small amount of video game knowledge, Starcraft is the game of choice. At any hour of the day, one of the two channels will be showing two guys duke it out in this decade old combat simulation game, and this is what the kids look up to. The CNN special showed a man, at least mid to late 30's, who spent all his free time at the PC rooms playing games. His wife and kids would come visit him there! A few years ago someone died after playing non-stop for 60 hours! The first thing my students learned to say when I start teaching them how to answer "what did you do yesterday?" is "play computer games." Our little north american wiener zombie nintendo kids have nothing on these guys.

I try my best to bring up some of the kooky things that happen in daily life in Korea, and there's been one I think I've sadly left out for a long time. Have I ever written about getting my hair cut yet? Well, that generally turns out just fine, though they did give me a wicked mullet one time. No, what's really bizarre is when they wash your hair. The word for hair in Korean is translated as "head sticks", which makes me laugh every time I think about it, and as the woman washes my head sticks, I usually end up with a giant grin on my face. You see, they throw a towel over your face while washing your hair. It's the strangest thing, since I think it's only there so either you can't see up the ladies shirt or so you just can't make eye contact with her at all. She could also be trying to avoid water splashing in my face, but the towel used is so small it really wouldn't stop much water at all. The last time I had my hair cut, the phone rang (which is so important in Korea it could pull a doctor away while delivering a baby), and I was left sitting alone in a sink with a towel over my face for nearly two minutes.

Today seems to be another random day of no classes. Shannon's already emailed me letting me know she's got nothing to do all day and was never told about it, and now it's getting on 12 o'clock and I still haven't had anyone show up for class.

Shannon and I have been toying with the idea of getting our dog a cat. We don't think we'll actually go through with it, since we don't need the burden of another pet to take care of, but our dog has some serious abandonment issues, and cries for hours when we leave, and will shove his kennel all around the living room. Having someone else to hang out with would probably do wonders for calming his nerves, and the idea of getting our pet a pet is hilarious, but given the reality of our situation, it's not something that's ever going to happen. One stray creature taking over our house is enough. If only we could trust the local Korean kids when it came to babysitting.

Gym Bunnies

Of all the blogs I've written, this is the one where I need visual aids the most. I'll do my best to describe this, but I think the scope and humour in all of this will never really be understood until you can see it with your own eyes.

I've been going to the gym quite regularly these days, which I'm very proud of indeed. The gym I go to is your typical Korean gym, with the music pumped way too loud and with the staff on hand to correct and change every exercise you do whether it's being done correctly or not. All the treadmills have TV's as well, which is no big deal, except instead of headphones for each person, they just blast the volume up high, filling most of the gym with a nasty cacophony of noise. Things get even louder when the aerobics class starts, though when those aerobics ladies stroll into the room, the music is the last thing I'm ever thinking of.

Watching these women do their thing is like watching a choreographed train wreck. The women, who aren't necessarily in bad shape, wear the most ridiculously loud, eccentric outfits I've ever seen that makes even the most attractive of them look absurd. They wear a mix of spandex, pleather, some kind of plastic-like material, more spandex, the occasional smattering of fish-net, poofy skirts, and I think one lady even wears velvet. It usually starts with the boots, which are a hybrid of knee-high boots and leg warmers. These aren't normally too bad, and some of the younger girls manage to pull it off, but then you get these bright skirts and strange low-cut bikini bottom things that would have trouble being justified in any fashion setting. Some ladies go for the pants, which they usually wear way too tight, and are made of some plastic-like material probably to induce more sweating. One lady wore bell-bottoms so large she could have hid small children around her ankles.

When the class starts, I'm sure it's not too different from any other aerobics class, though I've never seen one until now. The music cranks up just enough to make your ears bleed, the head girl goes to the front, and they go-go-go-go for 20 or 30 minutes straight. There's no instruction, just follow along with new people at the back, and those who know the routine at the front. Every time they do their thing, I take a pause, watch until I think I'm making them uncomfortable, watch for a few seconds longer, then continue to find myself glancing over until one of us finally finishes and leaves.

Things have been quite quiet these days. Shannon and I have settled down nicely into the second year in Korea, the routine at school is in full swing, and nothing too out of the ordinary is taking place. These last two weeks have been super quiet at school, with nearly half my classes canceled, and I'm setting new personal records for time spent doing nothing. I'm actually getting pretty good at studying Korea, and I can express myself in ways like "I'm planning to..." and "I think that..." which I'm pretty proud of. I still don't understand 99% of what Korean's say to me, and my students still howl with laughter anytime I say something in Korean to them, but I'm turning more heads now when I try and speak with locals.

It's 12:40 now, and I'm done for the day. I'm leaving at 3, but that's still over two hours of just waiting. Maybe I should pick up a new hobby, like knitting or building matchstick houses. Hmmm, maybe I'll see if the news headlines have changed in the last 10 minutes.

Excessive Precautionary Measures

I've mentioned at least a few times now how Koreans seem to be quite adept at breaking themselves. I'm constantly finding locals suited up with various casts on their limbs, in what I had always assumed meant broken wrists, arms, legs and ankles. Well, I've just recently had a revelation on the subject, as I am now one of the walking stories behind why so many people are bound and casted.


I do not have any broken bones. Well, it's possible I might have a tiny issue with my thumb, but going over the X-rays with my doctor left him believing it was just a bad sprain, and I am fairly confident he's correct. That's right, just a sprain, and to make sure I'm OK I've been given a full wrist cast. The injury itself was a pretty moronic thing for me to have done, but then again isn't it often that way? My two most devastating injuries came from snowboarding (legitimately dangerous) and a hammock. This time it was a punching bag arcade game, where you throw in a few cents and see how hard you can punch the target. Well, hanging out with other guys, a little macho-ism and a few drinks are a recipe for disaster, and while I can use my thumb pretty good already in spite of the injury, I suppose the pain and awkwardness of having a cast is something I deserve. And if nothing else, my arm can serve to promulgate the degree to which medicine and treatment is handed out in Korea.

For anyone interested in how the cast itself works here, they have some strange "casting paper" stuff that wraps around your hand, is squeezed and held in place, then BAM! you've got a rock hard cast on. No water, no wet bandage wrapping or fiberglassing, just a little cutting to size and wrap it on. Maybe this isn't all that new, but it's been a long time since I've been in a cast. Still, it's a mystery to me as to why this fancy cast is so necessary when a little thumb splint would have done the job. Maybe the advanced Korean medical technology thought aluminum and tape just weren't "cool" enough to keep using.

The Four Seasons

There's a running gag here in Korea about Korea's four distinct seasons. It's not so much that there's anything funny about the actual seasons here, but that Korean's are always so surprised to hear that other countries also have four distinct seasons. I haven't been able to figure out what's so surprising about this - whether they think it's always winter in Canada, or that maybe other countries skip spring and autumn and just hop straight from summer to winter - but I've been told many times now about the four seasons Korea has, and then been given a look of surprise when I mention that Canada also has four seasons too.

I think yesterday was the official start of fall here. The Koreans seem to go on weather more than the calendar dates when it comes to changing seasons, and right now it seems to make sense. Autumn came down like a hammer this week, dropping leaves on the trees, bringing in that crisp morning air, and over the span of 72 hours it's gone from t-shirt weather to jackets. Obviously it's not the magical weather pixies of Korea sitting in the sky saying "BAM! It's autumn today!" but I'm curious to see if there will be much of a temperature bounce back over the next few days and weeks.

My classes have all been canceled for the next two days, so there'll be lots of computer sitting and Korean studying for a while. I've instituted a new discipline measure in my class lately, the "three stars" method. It works great for well behaved classes and OK for the wild kids. Basically when they do something that's too much for me to handle, I take down a star. Lose all three stars, and it's garbage cleaning and sitting quietly time. Keep all three, and after X weeks, you get a movie day. Well, my one nasty class lost all their stars within 10 minutes. No problem, I figure, we'll just sit quietly for the last 2 minutes of class. That's it, just two minutes they have to be quiet for. Of course, they were completely incapable of it, and we spent 27 minutes together over lunch while I waited for them to calm down. There's not much else I can do to them in terms of discipline, but there homeroom teacher sure was able to whip them into shape for missing lunch. They're slightly better now.

The round the world trip is coming together nicely right now. I've found a great website for planning trips like this. Check out http://www.airtreks.com/index.html and look at the trip planner. Right now we're looking at a trip that goes

Calgary - London - Stockholm - Moscow or Frankfurt - Johannesburg or Nairobi-Cairo - Bombay - Kuala Lumpur - Jakarta-Bangkok - Lima - Calgary. We can't book for another few months, so it may change. Still, all this comes it at under $5000 since we're traveling during non-peak periods.

All right, I should get going. I've got nothing to do for the next 6 hours, so I think I'll try and study some Korea. Annyonghi Kaseyo (go well)!

Tonga Jerry

Ever heard of Tonga Jerry? Sure you have, it's just that you've never heard it pronounced that way. See, somehow Koreans (or at least the kids) have turned Tom and Jerry into Tonga Jerry, though the etymology is a little beyond me, since the Korean language is fully capable of saying "Tom an-duh Jerry" which is much closer. My grade 4's really wanted to watch "Tonga Jerry" the other day, and I can't stop them from saying it so oddly.

In case you missed it on the news, a hurricane blew through town last week. Though really, if I hadn't been told by others that it was going to happen, I would never have known a hurricane was taking place either. Sure it was a little rainy and windy, but watching CNN the day after, they made it look like we were one of those small Caribbean islands that gets all but wiped off the map every time a storm blows through. A few hours south of us, a few dozen people died, there was damage to buildings and flipped over cars. I hardly had to close my windows it seemed so mild up here.

Still, there was a lot of rain, and it made me realize just how shoddy our apartment building is. Every time it rains, it floods. Every window in the building leaks, so depending on the prevailing wind, you get floods all across the building. Our hallway slants away from the doors, which was probably done on purpose so that the water pools away from the apartment. Our apartment windows leak too, so our laundry room was absolutely soaked as well this time. The stairwells get puddles all through them normally, and this time even the elevator got washed out and had to be repaired.

There's another hurricane (though the Asian term for them is Typhoon) coming this week. Last I saw the projected path had it traveling just north of us, but a quick look at the weather forecast still says we'll get a bunch of rain. Probably just enough to pool half the hallway.

Geez, the humidity today is through the roof. It was sunny, then raining, and now it's scorching again, and I'm so hot and sweaty I feel like I'm drowning in myself. Hey, speaking of drowning, I had an amazing choking incident the other day. Shannon and I had made a Korean-style soup, and while eating it I inhaled a small portion of it the wrong way. I was still able to get some air down my windpipe, but it was a scary enough ordeal that Shannon got behind me and starting doing a mild heimlich maneuver on me. I think I would have been just fine without it, but it was a little reassuring having her get on it for me.

It's volleyball day today too, which isn't really different than any other day this month, except I'm told in advance I should play. Every day at 3pm, "Richard, you want to play volleyball?" Actually, they don't ask me if I want to, they tell me it's happening in a tone that suggests I really should come. I have come up with the semi-ingenious plan of never bringing sports wear, which 90% of the time works, though yesterday they pleaded with me and suggested there wasn't enough players to play without me. This is kind of true in Korea, since amateur volleyball has 9 players on each side of the court. Anyway, all the teachers are supposed to play, but I really don't enjoy it. Today we're supposed to play for 2 1/2 hours. It's ridiculous the effort and importance they put on volleyball, and I feel as though there's no way for me to say I don't enjoy it without serious issues being raised by my co teachers. Why, just the other day, my Vice Principal was noticing how I never eat all my food in the cafeteria, which irked him enough to start talking about me at the table. Afterwards, we played on the same team at volleyball and he couldn't get enough of me.

All right, enough of the volleyball talk. It's lunch time now, and our new lunch lady hasn't done me any favours with the food served so far this year. It's not bad, it's just never any good, resulting in comments from other teachers about my eating habits. Phew, the drama never ends. So long!

A Conversation With My Favourite Grade 1's

The same grade 1 kids who thought I must have met Triple H and Stone Cold Steve Austin on my vacation just stopped by. Today they wanted to know about my family. Well, getting them to understand what divorce is was pretty tough, but getting them to understand why my family would ever get divorced was nearly impossible. Things like that just don't happen in Korea.

They also couldn't get why I didn't go into the military. First, "Teacher, did you go in the army?" No. "Did you go in the navy?" No. "Did you go in the marine corps?" No no no no no no no. I never used or saw a gun, I told them. Again, lots of confusion, but it all got sorted out - I must have been a student back home (university students can do their military service here without actually shooting guns, doing drills, etc.). Well, the got the student part right, but I couldn't explain to them how I ended up here in Korea, so in the end I resolved it all with a "Out out out! Bye-bye! Naeil bayo (see you tomorrow0!"

Good to Be Back

I wasn't sure how I'd feel when I came back to Korea, but after 3 weeks I'm pretty confident saying that I'm happy being back here, and more than ready to put in another year. All ready things are falling into a nice groove, Shannon and I are keeping busy with the other foreigners, and our stupid little dog is keeping up his part by not peeing on the floor and keeping people entertained.

What I imagine must have been a typhoon rolled through town last week, bringing a kind of rain I've never seen before. For days on end, it rained steadily; and not just that west-coast-drizzle you get in BC, but a constant pouring, sometimes so intense it would darken objects on the horizon. It let up just in time for the weekend so we could do a little camping, but until Friday afternoon, I was starting to think this we were getting a glimpse of what it was like for Moses way back in the day.

I'm practicing my Korean again, and things are coming along nicely. I was even able to decipher what some of the Grade 1 boys were trying to say to me, which usually isn't too hard. This time though, they had heard I went to Canada, which I guess is the same as America to them. They also figured that I must have met all their heroes from Wrestle Mania, which was about all they could talk to me about for the rest of the day. "Teacher, did you meet The Rock? Did you meet Triple H?" Too cute.

I mentioned the "stupid" dog earlier here, which I suppose was a little harsh on him, since I think for a dog, he's actually quite intelligent. What he is missing is the slightest scrap of self-confidence or independence. At our last house, he absolutely destroyed one of the bedrooms - not bad for a dog that isn't mush higher than your ankles. We fixed the room, but pretty poorly, so everyday the landlord has been calling Shannon's school hounding them for $1500 to fix the place. There's no way it costs that much to fix it, but the headache of sorting it all out is causing Shannon so much stress. Her teachers are talking about her and the dog all the time, the school won't make us pay, but there's this feeling they want us to. It's incredibly awkward.

All right, I'm off for now. I've been kinda sick the last few days, so I'm not feeling entirely up to writing right now. I even took a day off school yesterday. My principal, he's so concerned he wants to send me home again today, while the rest of my teachers ask me how I am, then scuttle off and talk about me to everyone else. I may not understand what they're saying, but I can pick up more than they know.

Shibbal Dae Hakkyo

For those who are unaware, the title of this entry has some foul Korean language in it. I took it from the t-shirt of a girl in one of my classes, only she had it written in English. I wasn't going to write anything down for another week, but I felt I had to get this one down.

It's grade 6 class time, and these kids are definitely my favourite group. Their English is pretty good too, so I usually spend a little more time walking around the room talking to them every class. I reach this one girl, Ei Hae Mi, who's one of the nicest, sweetest kids in the whole school, and I see she clearly has "F**K" written across her shirt (only without any censoring). I get her to hold it so I can read it all, and it says "F**king College" with a big bad-ass skull and crossbones between the two words. Of course, me, totally not thinking at the moment, decide to say to her "Oh, that's a bad English word."

It was a bit selfish of me, since there was honestly no harm in her having this shirt. She didn't know what it meant, no one around her would've given it another thought, but for some stupid reason I wanted to let her know that I could understand it and it wasn't polite. Well, after that she had her Korean teacher look at it, and a few kids asked what went on, and so I tried to say it was OK and a fun shirt, and she was all embarrassed. Phew!

My lesson learned from it all? I'm not entirely sure, though though mostly I really need to be a little more careful about any comments I'm going to make around or about kids in my school. Especially their clothes.

One Home to Another

You gain so much when you go traveling, whether it's knick-knacks, language skills, memories or perspectives on life. This time I managed also to gain 5 or 6 pounds, though it could be even more if I were able to measure myself.

Yes, the trip to Canada was a most enjoyable experience, and I indulged as much or more than I thought I would when it came to food. While I don't think I managed to eat all the goodies I was looking forward to, I certainly ingested most of them. After a year away though, some things weren't quite the way I remembered them. My taste in beers has changed a bit and I didn't really enjoy chips and other junkie snack foods as much as I thought. Maybe I just ate too much too soon.

For those unaware, I had a whole month in Canada, which wasn't nearly enough time and yet I'm still glad to be back in Korea. A week in Saskatchewan, a few weeks in Calgary, then finishing the time off with a trip throughout BC, it got to be quite tiring being on the road and doing so many things. Shannon and I drove over 6200 km with the car, which if you did it all at once would probably be over three days of straight driving. Four if you took bathroom breaks.

I'm at a bit of a loss now when it comes to deciding where my home is at the moment. For sure my home country is Canada, but it's tough being there without an actual home, house, or space to call my own. Shannon and I spent a good deal of time on couches, in tents, and in spaces that while maybe private, were not "our" space. Yesterday we spent nearly the whole day lying on the couch reading, and it felt great to relax in our own space (though it's quickly becoming our own "mess").

The vacation though was wonderful, and I loved every moment of it. Except the few minutes wake-boarding in Waskesiu, where my feet got stuck in the bindings and I was sure we'd have to get a hacksaw and cut me out. Thankfully Shannon's cousin is a tough dude, and the two of us were able to wrestle me out. Otherwise, catching up with friends and family was amazing, even if sometimes it was only for a few minutes in a parking lot. Sorry to everyone I tried to meet up with but didn't, but I'll be home in a year, and you're always invited to come to Korea and visit me here. Oh, and thanks everyone for the comments on the blog. I'm amazed how many people are reading this here, so I promise entertaining and humorous stories for the next year and beyond. Till next week!

Surrealism

The blogging may be a bit more sporadic over the next month, as I'm off to Canada in just over 24 hours. There may be plenty of time to jot down thoughts online, but who knows what kind of internet access I'll have, so check back often, but don't get too angry with me if there's nothing new to read.

And so, this week all there is to really think about is Canada. After nearly a year of living in Korea, it's Canadian culture and Canadian people that will be turning my head in wonder and confusion. I'm by no means fully assimilated into the Korean world (I am soooo slow at learning the damn language), but I've lived through enough now that I know it's going to be a head-trip going back home.

Food is going to be the most obvious thing. No wait, that's not true. Language will be the most obvious, but food is what I've been thinking about most these last few weeks/months/since I got here. I fully expect to pack on a few pounds this August, unless I'm able to get into a moderate exercise routine everyday to battle the sudden caloric intake blast my body is about to receive. The plan right now is to eat out virtually every night (I've been saving money just for this purpose), since there's just so many different things I want to eat.

Actually, making good Canadian food at home will also be a treat, since not only will I have access to the different ingredients I've been missing, but even some utensils and proper counter space will also feel great. Anyway, enough on that, you now know I want food.

I think I'll be able to feel comfortable with the wide-openness and green space at home fairly easily. It wasn't too strange seeing vast expanses of empty land in Australia, but I can guarantee I'll get at least a few spine shivers the first time I get my bare feet onto some soft green grass. Heck, even brown nasty grass would beat the dirt fields here in Korea.

Some things are going to drive me crazy when I get home as well. The medical system here is designed infinitely better than at home. The care you receive may not be as good, but the waiting times, cost for things and friendliness of staff has been amazing. Shannon had some tests she wanted to get done, and she called home a few times to schedule them for August. She was told it wouldn't work, as it would take a minimum of 6 months to get everything done for her, so the next day she went to the Korean clinic and had it all done in 2 hours for only $40.

Generally the cost of living is going to be a bit of a downer for the next month - cabs cost about 1/10th of Canadian taxis, you can get good meals here for $2, and people are always giving you free things when you shop. On the other hand, nothings just ever as good as it is at home, and I'm ready to fork over a few extra dollars to have or experience something so much better.

I'm rather afraid of turning into one of "those" kinds of people, who can't shut up about "Country X". I'm sure everyone's had a friend or acquaintance who goes on a trip somewhere, comes back, and suddenly everything they say is "In "blah blah place", things are so much better" or "when I was in _____, it was just like this only half the price." Euugh, I can see myself doing it already. I'm going to make a personal goal to not talk about Korea unless asked. Of course this won't happen, but at least I might slow down on the Korea talk enough not to turn into "that Korea guy".

And with that, the first year of the Korea blog is complete! Annyonghi kaseyo (go well) and kamsamnida (thank you) for reading through it all. There's still one more year to go (at least), and I'm sure Korea has some interesting things still hidden up its sleeve to lay upon me. In the meantime, I'm off! "Reverse Culture Shock" here I come! Hope to see as many of you as I can, and if I don't, I hope you're doing well!

Rich

Clear Skies and Muddy Waters

I often complain, both on this blog and in person, about the murky skies in Korea. It's rare to have a day where the sky doesn't flow into a muted gray horizon that blurs the landscape and becomes indistinguishable from any nearby clouds. This Saturday however was so suddenly and amazingly clear, that even the morning cloud cover was the brightest, sunniest day there had been here in months.


The timing of it couldn't have been better, as it happened the same day as our trip to the Boryeong Mud Festival, a yearly festival where people flock to the beach and cover themselves with mud that's meant to cleanse the body and restore good health. Or something like that, I shouldn't pretend to know too much about the history and significance of it, since I was merely a part of the foreigner crowd who came in to get muddy, have some drinks and enjoy the beach. And wow, what a great day it was!


Everything about this day was shaping up nicely. Two of the girls in town had booked us not only a place to stay but a big bus to get there. Not having to worry about travel was awesome, and we rolled into Boryeong at noon singing songs, feeling
refreshed and ready for a good time. The place we were staying at wasn't amazing, but it did the job, had a BBQ we could use, and was right on the beach (though a 15 minute walk from the major crowds).

There are nearly as many foreigners who come to the festival as Koreans, and while I've never been to Thailand, I was told the atmosphere was pretty similar - piles of
people from all over the world, mostly between 18 and 30, walking around half naked, drinking in the streets and relaxing on the beach. Except here every other person was covered head-to-toe in mud. Some people had it on so thick I had trouble recognizing them as people if they weren't moving. There were mud-wrestling pits, big slides to ride down, wading pools full of mud, buckets of it sitting around with brushes to slap it on with, as well as heaps of other things not-so-mud-related.
Concert stages, massage tents, food vendors, nights clubs and other touristy things were piled up all around the beach, and it was hard to really figure out what was supposed to be going on as the main attraction sometimes.

I got down and dirty in the mud a couple of times, though once the sun dried me out, I turned into a giant pile of dust and grit, which wasn't quite so pleasant. Fortunately the ocean was always right there and when you got too gross you could plunge in and clean off (though really, with the tens of thousands of people on the beach, I don't think the water was much cleaner than the mud).



The night carried on as many other long nights away from home often do - staying up late, meeting interesting characters, singing songs around a fire (this time on the beach) and ordering way too much pizza at am. There wasn't much in the way of sleep to be had, with 16 of us lying on the floor together, but I can't begin to describe how amazing it was the next day, watching the thousands of travelers who came to town crawling and scrambling to the bus or train station, while we casually had breakfast and let our bus come to us. The weather even stayed sunny right up until we reached Mokpo, hinting that maybe the good times had in Boryeong had been divinely preordained.

Only two more weeks (just less actually) before it's back to Canada for a month. I'm looking forward to getting away for a while, however I'm having a bit of a good run on teaching these days, so I'm not counting down the days like I thought I'd be. Plus, it's such a pain trying to squeeze every possible thing out of the time at home, I'm inevitably going to upset people (including myself) with not being able to do certain things or doing things that I don't want to do. Meh, it'll still be a great time. Thanks for reading!

It Never Ends

A drunk man wandering the streets yesterday afternoon tried to kiss me. He followed me for two blocks, shouting "Helloooooo!" and "Kiss me!", pursing his lips and waving his hands at me. He then pulled out an electric razor and tried to give it to me, at which point two cops came round the corner and he went the other way.

Last week, a taxi driver asked Shannon how much it would cost to have sex with her. His English was a little bad, so it's possible there was some confusion on both their parts, but given that he definitely asked her "how much" and then began muttering something that sounded like "penis", there doesn't seem to be much doubt about what he was trying to get at.

These have been some of the things happening in the past week that have made Korea seem more like a circus side-show than a first-world country. Of course, there are still plenty of great things about being here and it's never all drunken perverts you run into, but I think I may need to post a list of all the good things about Korea soon so that people know there's some positive aspects of the country.

A recent trip to Busan by myself, Shannon and an Australian friend, Kirra, also was fraught with bizarre Korean behaviour, that I'm sure makes plenty of sense to this country but little to people from elsewhere. We traveled to Busan to go surfing, though it turns out the one beach we could rent boards at really didn't have much for waves. Still, we rented some boards (there was a lesson organized for this day, so about 10 people were with us in total) and went to the beach. Right away, we were told we couldn't go surfing though, since it was too dangerous.

"Right now, no surfing here" the lifeguard told us.

"But you rent surfboards just across the street" we replied.

"No surfing here, it's dangerous. Too many people." they said.

"There's no one in the water" we point out.

"No surfing on this spot now. It's July, no surfing until after August 21st."

Eventually we moved to the far side of the beach where they said it was OK, but every time we creeped over towards the better waves, lifeguards would start blowing whistles and moving in on jet-skis to get us away from the people that weren't in the water. During the next two days of surfing they would continue to blow whistles at us for things like:

Surfing without a wet-suit
Swimming in water deeper than your chest
Not taking a 10 minute break
Swimming near the surfers
Surfing near the swimmers
Not getting out of the water at 6 o'clock, at which point everyone has to get out

Still, despite the annoyingly assiduous lifeguards, it was a great time in the water. Anyway, that's all for this week, I'll have more fun stories (and hopefully pictures) next week after we go to the Beoryong Mud Festival, where thousands of people head to the beach and play in the mud all day long. It's going to be quite the adventure.

The Rain In Spain Falls Mostly On Korea

The semester is beginning to wind down here in Korea, though I'm still thinking of it North American terms and want to call it the year. Summer vacation begins in less than a month, and though the kids don't actually graduate and move up a grade until February, it's starting to get that end-of-year feeling. Already English classes are being canceled for exams and to make time for other more important work (I'm not sure if I'm being sarcastic there or not), and I'm finding it more and more common where I'll get prepped for a class, have all my materials ready and then have no one show up. Well, I do appreciate the free time, so I might as well take advantage of it somehow.

This past weekend was Canada Day, and despite being thousands of miles away, many of us here in Korea did manage to put together a small celebration. A dozen or so of us went to a small island called Shinji which has one of the larger and nicer beaches in the province. We camped out there for the night, and enjoyed relatively good weather for the day, and had a great time having some drinks, swimming and sitting around the camp fire. I was feeling pretty exhausted from moving into the new house (I'll get to that after), and since most of us got there around two in the afternoon, everything was pretty much shut down by midnight (at which time it actually became Canada Day, rather than the day we spent partying). It was probably a good thing we turned in early though, since the weather took a dramatic turn for the worse once we had everything tucked away.

First the wind came, blowing over a few of the tents we had set up and snapping one of the poles used to hold up the tarps we had placed in case of rain. For at least an hour the wind came, blowing so loud you could hardly speak to each other. Then, there was the brief calm, lasting about 10 minutes and giving a few people the sense that things were over - until the rain began. I was asleep for large portions of it, but the rain probably lasted an hour as well, and was accompanied by a biblical serving of thunder and lightning. Things were getting so bad some people were now sleeping in the public washroom, and Shannon and I were more than tempted to go as well. Our tent however stayed dry and lightning free, however one struck down so close to our campsite my ears were ringing.

The next day our campsite was a mess. One of the motorbikes had collapsed in a mud puddle, wrecking the clutch. Tents had been blown over and/or flooded. Someone lost there shoe in a mud hole trying to reach the bathroom, and never was able to dig it out again. It was quite a mess. The bad weather continued all next day, and one of the girls whose bike was still working the next day tried to drive home and skidded out and ended up quite bruised up, though she didn't need to go to the hospital. The rest of us, having gotten little to no sleep that night, woke up at 5:30 once the weather eased up and caught the 6:30 bus home. Once home, I slept soundly for 6 hours.

And where did I sleep, you may ask? Why, in the brand new apartment that Shannon and I just moved into. It's actually fairly old, but it's nice, hardly more than half the size of our last place, and in a nice location. The size of it isn't actually so bad, it's just that there's zero storage space and the kitchen has no counters at all to work with. We now use our kitchen table as counter space, and have become permanent living room sofa eaters. Last night we finally got it all unpacked, took out all the trash, and now have a comfortably clean living space, right next to a gym, swimming pool and some great little fruit markets.

My bike got stolen over the weekend. So now I've had my wallet, iPod and bike all nabbed from me. While I got the first two back, I don't even want to bother trying to find the bike. It was a used $50 piece of moderate junk, and my teachers already think I have a problem keeping my things from being taken, why make it worse. Still, until I get a new one, getting around won't be as fun.

Anyway, I'm out for now. Thanks for reading!

One Mystery Revealed!

Two days ago, a large closet showed up in my classroom. I couldn't figure out what it was for - was I getting new materials? Did the teachers here think I was too messy and needed more storage space? Was it being held in my room temporarily? I finally found out today that with all the things being taken from my classroom, I needed somewhere I could lock my stuff up during the day. Mystery solved, and I'm kinda thankful for the thoughtful gift too.

Mysteries

There's a lot of every day it seems that I spend doing nothing. I usually have a 10 or 20 minute gap between classes at school, which is a nice chance to get ready for the next class, check email, or just waste a few minutes surfing the internet. It usually ends up being a small waste of time, but there's never that much time to begin with, so I don't really mind. What kills me is the times when that 10 or 20 minutes stretches out to half an hour or more, and suddenly I've wasted 30 or 40 minutes doing nothing, all because I never knew if anyone was going to show up to my class or not. It happened this morning with a class not coming, and it's happening right now - my after school class, with 24 kids signed up, has 2 kids in the room. I'm trying to take advantage of the 30 minutes of nothing to do, but most of the time it's pretty tough and I find I waste as much as an hour or more a day with these small breaks of time that I could do so much more with (like write in my blog). Well, I'm doing well writing in the blog now, so good for me.

The other day I was coming home from school, and two Korean men were riding their bicycles on the road in front of me. They were side by side, and taking up a good portion of the street, and every car that drove by was honking at them as they had to swerve into the other lane around them. It got me wondering what these two guys were thinking, and I realized that with a huge degree of regularity I have no idea what is going on in people's minds here in Korea. I don't understand why these guys wouldn't even consider shuffling just a little more off the road, if they even noticed the car horns honking at them, and if they felt their actions were right and that the cars should just slow down and let them do their own thing. And it's like that everywhere. While I've been at school here long enough to know some of what's going on, I often have no clue whether teachers here are pleased with my work, think I'm doing poorly, or if they have any expectations of me other than what I'm doing. A few shots of soju will usually help clarify things, but I don't think alcohol necessarily brings out honesty, just an excess of drunken banter and emotion.

I had a great chance for a bonding experience with my teachers the other weekend, as we had an overnight teachers' trip planned. Unfortunately the weather got pretty nasty and we just did a one day event, but it was still a good time with them. Of course, if I don't think I could handle taking another of these trips for at least 6 months, but I'm glad I did it. Here's a breakdown on how Koreans like to travel:

Get an early start. Our trip began at 7am on Saturday morning.

Bring heaps of food. We had a massive cooler, stopped for food regularly and everyone got a little snack pack for the trip.

Stop repeatedly. Every hour we stopped for something - a tourist sight, a food break, a bathroom break, whatever.

Drink. While no one drank heavily, they started drinking at 8am and didn't stop till around 10 that night. Just little drinks or wine, beer, etc. And always with food.

Sing We had a noraebang (karaoke) on the bus. While it was only running for 2 or 3 hours, it was a tough thing for me to deal with.

The trip was filled with plenty of odd behaviour and moments that befuddled me and were typical to the rest of the staff. We went to a herb garden that had a giant rock that looked like a penis (or a dinosaur depending on where you were standing), for snacks everyone was given a whole octopus and squid, and somehow during the trip a softcore pornography movie ended up playing on the bus. I think the bus driver put it on by accident, since it only lasted 5 minutes, though it seemed to shock even some of the Koreans when it happened.

This would have been a perfect blog to put up some pictures of my teachers' trip, but unfortunately, I can't right now. Shannon and I are moving, something I didn't really expect to be doing in Korea, and the camera stuff is packed. Our landlord sold the apartment, so we've packed up and will be moving this week. It's not as bad as it could have been, though it was rather sudden and the moving date is something we're arguing with our schools about. They want us to move Saturday, we want to enjoy the Canada Day weekend and move Friday. Maybe we're being a little pushy, but this whole moving thing was pushed on us and we'd like to get some say in how things go. Anyway, next time I blog, I'll have a new home. Thanks for reading.

Oh, Those Wacky Kids!

Today a student discussed with me playing jump-rope using his intestines. I'm still surprised at his knowledge of human anatomy, though perhaps video games have helped him fill in the gaps on what might be found under his skin.

Kids are always saying and doing the darn-dest things around me. Right now three girls are attacking my board with magnets and grabbing the computer mouse. Yesterday the same girls were trying different ways to use the word "puck". Of course "puck" isn't what they meant to say, but Koreans way of speaking doesn't really allow them to pronounce an "f" sound. So for now, if I ever get them really upset, I'll just have to deal with the occasional "puck" you.

A Change of Season

It's getting disgustingly hot here in Korea - the last few days at school have seen me set personal records for heat discomfort and sweating. Shannon and I have started bringing deodorant to class now to try and prevent our Korean counterparts from thinking we Westerners lack all sense of personal hygiene, but it's a tough battle the way the weather is going. What's worse is my school recently put in air conditioning into all the classrooms, except mine of course. I instead was given a small fan to put by my desk

At home it's not so bad, as my principal was nice enough to have air conditioning put into our apartment. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the sewage systems from being heated up, which in turn sends the nastiest stinkiest smells into our bathrooms. Today the smell had already started coming in by 8:30 this morning, which means it's going to be one stinker of a day when I get back home this afternoon. Our dog, Miso, doesn't seem to mind it so much - he's part Chihuahua, and I think the heat does him just fine. I'm pretty sure we'll have to get him a full-body winter suit if he's ever going to survive the Canadian winter though, as what little hair he has on his body will do little to insulate him against anything worse than a chilly autumn day.

With the changing season comes the changing of clothes. Koreans decide the seasons on weather and temperature rather than on a specific day, so what season it is depends on who you talk to and how they're feeling. But when it does change, it changes en masse. Middle and High School students wear uniforms here, and they just recently brought out their summer uniforms. So, all of a sudden the hundreds of kids you see everyday in gray slacks and white shirts are now all dressed like navy blue sailors. My teachers at school have suddenly stopped wearing suits and are all in short sleeve shirts (some so bright and loud you'd think they were on vacation in Hawaii). I have yet to experience it, but beach season also is a very seasonal thing. When it's time to go to the beach, everyone goes to the beach. As soon as beach season is over, the whole place shuts down and there's hardly a soul around. In two weeks we're doing a big beach-camping trip, and I'm curious to see if beach season has begun yet or not.

Teacher, My Crazy!

Living in a poorer area of town gives me a chance to see some of the more colourful people here in Korea. Now, maybe I don't really mean colourful, so much as just drunk, but either way people watching in the neighbourhood is very entertaining. A little disgusting too.

Our building is the only one for blocks around with a parking lot. Most people who pass by will respect this, but at night all the drunk Korean men use it as a urinal. The old men across the street, who are usually drinking every night, will regularly come and pee in our lot. Sometimes it's passerby's who use it. The other day, I ran into one of the men who live in our building peeing in the plants in the parking lot. Eugh.

Sometimes the drunk men on the street are more funny than disgusting, such as when they come up with the ingenious ideas of bringing their scooters into their homes. Okay, so really it was just this once that it happened, though I'm sure it happens more than I'm aware. This poor, tiny, fall-down-drunk man had just ridden his scooter home and was now trying to get it in the front door. His wife was standing there yelling something at him, but he didn't seem to notice. The scooter was still running, there were plants and pots everywhere in the guys way, and he was unable to get it over the little step to the door no matter how hard he tried. I walked past without pausing too long, and when I looked back the both the man and the scooter were now lying on the ground in all the plants, the wife still yelling something at him. Oh, the poor little drunk man.

A source of constant entertainment, there's more than just strange urinations going on in the parking lot. Adjacent to the lot live a few middle aged Korean women. One of them is half crazy, the other is a full-blown lunatic. When she's outside, she's usually talking to herself, yelling at something that isn't really there, or trying to call Miso over to her, which is really funny since the dog absolutely HATES her. She's gotten into the habit of staring at us over the concrete fence when we take Miso out to pee, and will click, cackle and call at him until we finally leave, since he won't pee when she's around. Lately it's gotten even stranger, since she's taken a liking to mimicking our English. While getting Miso to pee, Shannon or I usually say "Go pee! Go pee!" Now, from across the fence we can hear the crazy lady yell back at us "Go pee! Go pee!" Sometimes she's not even at the fence, but off doing some other chore around the house and will just yell when she hears us out there.

Oh, and how could I forget this - she tried to kick the dog too! She came into the parking lot the other day while I was out with Miso, and started coming toward us. I didn't want her near the dog, so we walked past her to the street, but she came too and went in front of us. Miso started growling at her, she bent down to say hi, then *Whoosh!* she let loose this big sweeping leg kick towards the dog. She was a good 5 or 6 feet away, so no harm done at all, but I was still a little surprised and upset at the poor loony lady. I haven't seen her in a few days now, but I can hear her rummaging around her place most times when I'm in the parking lot with Miso.